Horror movies require an absence of logic. This is a necessity for a movie that runs on its characters' idiotic decision-making and otherworldly plotlines. Skeleton Man, though, takes logic by the throat, breaks its neck, and pushes it off a mile-high cliff. The meat of the film begins with a group of undercover soldiers sent into the wilds of the Pacific Northwest in an attempt to locate the survivors of a top-secret mission; the purpose of which is never explained. The soldiers then learn, the hard way, that their fellows-in-arms were killed off by a (very, very cheaply) cloaked skeleton on horseback. Of all the fantastic group horror monsters we have witnessed, the Skeleton Man is by far the most badass. First, he is invincible. Literally thousands of bullets are shot into him and gigantic explosions occur around him, to no effect except that of holes in his garb. Second, he somehow hides a very impressive armory within the confines of his cloak. By the end, Skeleton Man manages to kill using a spear, sword, bow and arrow, war hammer and a tomahawk. Third, as long as he is on his horse, he can apparently phase in and out of existence wherever he wants. Lastly, and most importantly, he kills indiscriminately, sadly stopping short of killing leading star Michael 'What is wrong with my voice?' Rooker and the lone surviving girl. Making the characters unlikeable may have been purposeful: their deaths were cheered. The movie is incredibly strong until the last 15 minutes, when Rooker somehow believes he can kill the Skeleton Man by blowing up a chemical plant on top of him. He is, we learn, thankfully wrong. The last scene is that of Skeleton Man atop his horse, riding off into a dense fog, searching for more unwitting victims.
Kill Meter: Unbelievably high. Skeleton Man destroys everything in his path. Two end up surviving, but one has the feeling they could have easily been killed if not for Skeleton Man toying with his prey.
Quote: "It'll blow up everything within 50 yards."
Grade: B-
Lesson Learned: An amazing killer can carry a movie, but somewhat dynamic group members are a necessity.
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